I'm tired.
I'm tired of being tired.
I'm tired of caring about everything.
I got to stay strong so I won't worry my friends that I care about.
I'm tired of being lonely.
I'm tired of feeling lonely.
This is what I hate the most to even think, I never want to even think I want to die, and I will never think that way, but I can't help but thinking I wish I would just varish. Just be nothing.
If I'm gone, if I die, who would cry for me? My family, of course. Who else? Who even knows me well enough to cry for me? Would you even know that I died? Most of you, all of you probably, would not even know that I died when I die.
I recently even wonder why I was ever born. I am happy I was born. I am happy to have been to my parents. I am happy I am me. I am happy who I am. I never regret what I have ever done in my life.
Please, if there's anyone watching me, god, my ancestors, whatever you are or whoever you are, if you are there or not, please, help me. Help me. Or kill me.
I don't want to be weak. I am not weak. I can't be weak.
Please. I am here. Know me. See me. Hear me. Feel me.
I know, I am being what I hate to be the most. What would this be of? Being weak? Showing my weakness? Do I want sympathy from others? Please, damn it.
I hate to be melancolic. I hate to look melancolic. I hate to show it. I'm sorry I'm even showing this to you.
But now, please let me. Please.
I will be okay soon. Just not now.
Good bye all.
Kouhei
Goood night.
Don't be tired of living !
ReplyDeleteI just watched your video "Japanese Unique Culture for Foreigners - Open or Closed?"
It's brilliant : Why ?
You speak really well English (I mean it : I could make stupid humor by saying it's not the kind of compliment Japanese people do towards foreigners speaking 2 words of Japanese)
You can express complex feelings and subtiles situations.
If I could speak Japanese just 10% of your English level : I would be proud !
You can look at your own culture and country and explain it to us
That's great qualities.
With those qualities I think that your life won't be tiring or boring or lonely but successfull
Hi Christophe. Thanks for the comment.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry. This was only a kind of phase I was having. It doesn't continue for long.