I think now I know the feeling of people who stop living.

I am not that weak yet though.

Stop living what comes to the very bottom of my life that I never want to do.

Whatever will be will be

My belief is that whatever will be will be.
If I am living, I will get something. I will be something.
I'm just happy I am living, I am judt happy I was born.

Living happy whatever your life will be.

Live, and your life will be of something.

Meaning of My Existence?

There's not much I can do.

But if there's anyone who would find a meaning of me existing, that will be enough for me.

It will be the real end when I am needed by nobody.

Living is hard

Why am I living.

Tired of...living

I'm tired.

I'm tired of being tired.

I'm tired of caring about everything.

I got to stay strong so I won't worry my friends that I care about.

I'm tired of being lonely.

I'm tired of feeling lonely.

This is what I hate the most to even think, I never want to even think I want to die, and I will never think that way, but I can't help but thinking I wish I would just varish. Just be nothing.

If I'm gone, if I die, who would cry for me? My family, of course. Who else? Who even knows me well enough to cry for me? Would you even know that I died? Most of you, all of you probably, would not even know that I died when I die.

I recently even wonder why I was ever born. I am happy I was born. I am happy to have been to my parents. I am happy I am me. I am happy who I am. I never regret what I have ever done in my life.

Please, if there's anyone watching me, god, my ancestors, whatever you are or whoever you are, if you are there or not, please, help me. Help me. Or kill me.

I don't want to be weak. I am not weak. I can't be weak.

Please. I am here. Know me. See me. Hear me. Feel me.

I know, I am being what I hate to be the most. What would this be of? Being weak? Showing my weakness? Do I want sympathy from others? Please, damn it.

I hate to be melancolic. I hate to look melancolic. I hate to show it. I'm sorry I'm even showing this to you.
But now, please let me. Please.

I will be okay soon. Just not now.

Good bye all.

Kouhei

Goood night.